changes are afoot

i work at a store that has a pharmacy in it. there are a couple of those chains out there, i'll let you imagine which one i work at. anyway, in october i transfered from the photo lab to the pharmacy. i was really excited about my new position but it has been terrible from the very beginning. i cried every day for at least the first week after i moved over there. after a while the crying became less frequent but recently i've begun to realize that some of the feelings and thoughts that i've been having just are not normal and it's all because of how miserable my job is making me. i'm not going to go into great detail but i will tell you that every day when i drive to work i think about what it would be like if i got into a car accident that didn't kill me but maybe made it so i could miss a few weeks of work. yes, i would rather get into a fucking car accident than go to work. not good.

today i spoke with the store manager and told her that i want to be moved out of the pharmacy. i also told her that if she doesn't have room for me elsewhere i'll understand and be on my way. she seems to want to work with me on finding a new position so hopefully that will happen sooner rather than later because, honestly, i'm losing my shit. i think that my work situation has a lot to do with the awful headaches i've been getting lately too. i recently read a story on cnn.com that said having no job is better for your mental health than having a bad job. a-fucking-men to that. i don't want to be unemployed. i don't want to not have health insurance. but what i have going on right now, this is no way to live. i once told a friend that of all the things in her life she thought could be making her unhappy, her job is was the easiest thing to change. and what did she do? she quit that job and got an amazing job and she is literally living the dream right now. there may have been some bumps in the road but i'll be damned if she isn't completely rocking this thing we call life. what took me so long to realize the same advice i gave her nearly 6 years ago?