Monday, April 4, 2011

give me a break, please

when i went back to work today my boss acted like he was mad at me for what happened on friday. in case you missed it, i had to go to the hospital with a headache so bad that it caused me to think i could possibly have an aneurysm. i explained everything to him and then he acted like i was faking it. i wish i had been faking that shit. i was in more pain than i think i ever have been in my entire life. i don't get what his fucking problem is, a couple of weeks ago one of my co-workers had vertigo and missed probably 2 days worth of work. vertigo is like a headache in that it's probably pretty easy to fake having, but no one questioned my co-worker when she was sick. i'm just super irritated with the whole headache thing anyway, having to deal with shit at work is just too much.

i think i might fire my neurologist soon. i just feel like he's not particularly interested in trying to find ways to make me comfortable when i get a really bad headache. he's interested in headache prevention but, um, he's not doing that very well either. obviously i want to prevent headaches but i also want to be realistic and have a plan for when the preventative measures just don't work. going to the hospital and getting an iv full of compazine, dilaudid, and fluids isn't something i want to have to do ever again. i have a bruise the size of a golfball on my arm, it's super trashy looking :(

i don't like to complain about my health stuff here very often but i'm so frustrated right now. i feel like people don't take migraines and other types of debilitating headaches seriously at all. if you've never experienced it, you honestly have no idea how bad it is. and it gets so, so bad. i've been doing this for 15 years and i don't know how much more i can take. i am so very sick of this shit.

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