Monday, June 6, 2011

it's funny the way things change



where do i even begin with gomez? 

let's just say that our relationship started out hot and heavy and remained that way for many years until suddenly it was painful to stay in the relationship. i have made what i know are lifelong friends thanks to gomez and i will never forget them for that. however, what i would like to forget are the last 3 albums they've released. 

i've seen some good gomez shows in the middle of those subpar albums. i've also seen some bad ones, though and i don't have time for the bad ones anymore. i have so many incredible memories (hazy though some of them may be) and i don't want to taint that with anymore bad experiences. this might be a stretch for some of you to understand but i guess it's kind of like when a television show bows out while they're still pretty much on top, leaving before it has a chance to get bad. i've emotionally, and physically (you know, by not traveling across the country to see them anymore), detached myself before it can get any worse. that may sound harsh to some but it's true. 

part of being in a friendship with someone is that you enjoy their company and you care for them, so of course you would never picture your life without them. when you're in it, you can't ever imagine being out of it. that's how i feel about my love for gomez. i can admit wholeheartedly to you that i never imagined my feelings for the band, and its music, would fade so quickly and so hard and yet here i am writing this blog post. we're close a new gomez album release but, for once, i am not setting myself up for disappointment. i have accepted the reality that we have gone in different directions and that i do not have to force myself to like something just because i think i should, because i once did. i've asked this question a few times to friends who were having problems with other friends, "if you were to meet this person today, do you think you would forge a friendship with them?" if i were to "meet" gomez today, do i think i would become the fanatic that i once was? absolutely not.

earlier i wrote about how i had been having a difficult time listening to joseph arthur. i also have a difficult time listening to gomez but it's for different reasons. i used to have a friend who absolutely loved ac/dc. i think they were probably his 2nd or 3rd favorite band and i had never met anyone who liked them as much as he did. i still haven't. we are no longer friends and anytime ac/dc comes on the radio i have to change it because it reminds me of this amazing friendship that abruptly ended for seemingly no reason. when gomez comes up on shuffle, even the good songs, i can't quite bring myself to listen to them because it reminds me of an amazing friendship that i abruptly ended. i think eventually when i'm further removed from these emotions i'll be able to listen to those great albums that made me fall in love with them in the first place but for now it's easier for me to pretend that they don't exist. 

i feel like this all seems extremely harsh and that isn't necessarily my intention. the bottom line is that we're just different now and it's the end of an era for me. this isn't an attack on their entire musical catalogue by any means, it's the realization that i can just walk away. i don't have to hold on to something that was once special to me just because it was once special to me

i mean, i don't still love new kids on the block and they were once extremely special to me.

but really, this slideshow that kerry made 4 years ago kind of epitomizes why i stuck around for as long as i did, even after the music started going downhill: the people.

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