Monday, April 5, 2010

the lab employee

i think i got a job the other day. it's not a job that i really want but right now, i can't really be choosy. i'm hoping that something better will come along very soon. this morning i had to go to a lab for a drug test for said job. there was only one person working there, a gentleman whose name i did not catch.

lab employee: are you ready to go now? 
me: i think so.
lab employee: okay because if you don't have enough you have to sit here and wait until you do. i had a lady earlier who was here for 2 hours before she could provide enough.
me: okay. i'll try.

he hands me a cup and tells me that he needs a certain amount of urine in the cup. he draws a big line on the cup and tells me that i need to fill it up to said line.

i go to the bathroom and only fill the cup about halfway to the line that he drew. i thought, "great, now i'm going to have to sit here for 2 hours until i have enough pee to give to this guy." i walk out and tell the guy, "i guess i need to drink some water and hang out for a while because i didn't have enough..."

he takes the cup from me while i wash my hands and when i turn around he has my "specimen" in a smaller tube like container. 

lab employee: you have just enough!
me: really? awesome!
lab employee: yeah, it just barely made it. so is your hair naturally curly?


Alicia said...

LMAO ~~does the curtain match the drapes~~ is what he was really asking

Erin said...

Thanks for that. I needed a good laugh. Congratulations on the job, even if it's just something to do while you look for something better.

Jenn said...

I can tell you some nightmare stories from when I worked at G&R...I used to have to administer said piss a bunch of sweaty men who don't speak the english.

vomitus erruptus.

Mel said...

I'm DYING reading this!